What is confidence and self esteem and how do you get it?
For me its about attitude and liking yourself enough to not care what other people think or trying to live up to other peoples expectations or social mores. Its about feeling good in your body and dressing how you want and nurturing yourself on every level. I’m 60 now and very confident- Of course I was not like this for a very long time.
How do you get to be confident? How do you get to like yourself? It can take a long time a lot of experiences and personal development to feel and act out that confidence. I mean here I am on Instagram parading around in bathers at my age. Now that takes confidence, maybe a slightly delusional attitude – ha. Some may say I should not be doing that but I don’t do it for them, I do it for myself and to show other women out there younger and older that you can still look good and feel good at any age. Of course as well as attitude its about looking after yourself on many levels -with good nutrition, regular exercise a balanced life and you already know this. Another form of confidence of course is that you don’t care about how you look as you get older – that’s your decision and your call. We women should be supportive of however means we use to look and feel good. Of course you may get bigger breasts to look good but you can still be that very shy under confident person underneath , You really do need a big attitude to match your new bigger breasts. So much going on inside that head huh!
I was a very shy little girl believe it or not and I was bullied at primary school and secondary school and at home. I had no strategies at all to deal with the bullying and I was not safe at home as everyone was being bullied.I became an rebel and went on a very gritty path of self – destruction for too long where I put myself in danger a lot and mistreated my poor body with drugs and alcohol and made very bad decisions. This behaviour is such a typical reaction for so many people who experienced the same as me. The other reaction is to retreat to become socially phobic or develop really bad anxiety and illness.
I did not have a mentor someone on my side someone confident that I could learn from. I remember a girlfriend saying to me when I was around 22 that “I didn’t have to be like this – that I was actually a good person” That was the start of this little kernel of hope of turning my self – destruction and lack of self -esteem around. I think I gave myself permission to actually like myself. To look at my good qualities to soften up take it easy on myself stop trying to prove stuff that did not matter. I was craving connections, craving a sense of belonging all the time. I just did not know how to get them. You did not go to a psychologist – 30 years ago mental health was for those people living in the assylums and institutions. The go to therapy was booze, sleeping pills or whatever you could get your hands on well for me anyhow or you slowly went insane or had a breakdown. You did not talk about it.
Then my next turning point in raising my self- esteem was when I had my first child and actually looked after myself in my pregnancy and actually was able to look after my baby without losing her or neglecting her sounds funny but I was worried I would do so many things wrong. When I look back I was a pretty good mum and all my children still talk to me ha.The third turning point in my improvement in self -esteem was after my second child I enrolled in an aerobics instructor course having never done aerobics before. I remember doing a letterbox drop around the neighbourhood with my little girls and when 23 women turned up for their first class and mine – I was overjoyed. So I went on and taught for 25 glorious years and it felt so good to help other women and men and children become fit. Those were the days of the leotard G-strings think Jane Fonda and leg warmers and I was able to measure my clients confidence and self- esteem when they would come to class in the shiny leggings and g- string no matter how big their bum looked! Of course I know now that exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good. We were not so aware in those days what regular exercise could do to your brain and the immediate benefits. As a mum I started to eat better as I learned more about good food your kids should eat. My fourth enlightment was when I left a bad marriage which although very hard on everyone including the kids was a liberating and necessary experience. Being accepted totally and loved by someone else which I was by my husband Jim 25 years ago only sky rocketed my confidence and self – esteem. The fifth elevation in my self- esteem was doing a Life Coaching course where I learned that it was my choice how I responded to people and situations and places, The sixth was becoming a Trainer and Assessor and helping long term unemployed get ready for work – a very humbling, challenging and satisfying experience. The seventh was enrolling in the Certificate 1V Clinical Hypnosis Course 5 years ago where I learned even more about the power of the mind and that you could change a habit a belief, behaviour or attitude that was holding you back from achieving a goal a way of life. It was magical to me that once willing and in a deep state of trance/ relaxation via suggestions that you could build a new concept of yourself as that confident, self aware person brimming with new found confidence and self- love and improved self esteem.
I don’t want you to have to wait 30 years to get that confidence and self esteem that you need. Hypnosis can be the vechicle the medium the method the strategy that you can utilise to finally be that confident happy self now.
Email cathy for details of Improving Your Confidence and Self – Esteem with Hypnosis now – Live Video Hypnosis sessions available info here https://www.cathybarrowhypnosis.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=132&action=edit
Reese Witherspoon and Adele has used hypnosis to overcome her insecurities and improve her confidence and self esteem.
According to the Cambridge Times web site, the 38-year-old actress said that years of being told she was too fat or short for Hollywood roles had taken their toll on her confidence and self esteem, so she turned to hypnosis for a confidence boost before taking on the role of Cheryl Strayed in ‘Wild’.
Confidence and Self Esteem A bit more of an explantion
Over the last decade we have found that one of the most common uses for self hypnosis is building confidence and self esteem, so we thought that it would be a good idea to explain just how you might build self confidence and self esteem using hypnosis. As our starting point, let’s take a look at how you build self confidence in the real world. How do you get to the point where doing something scary just isn’t scary any more? Well basically, you do it and do it until it just isn’t scary any more! Hardly a deeply insightful answer, but true. Think of anything you have mastered that was difficult at first, and you’ll see that’s what happened. Fear, or lack of confidence, is all about uncertainty, and once you have done something enough for the uncertainty to mostly disappear, the fear disappears too. But that leaves a big problem. What if you’re so scared to do something you can’t even get started? Or what if it’s not the sort of thing you can practise?
This is where hypnosis comes in. Hypnosis builds a ‘bridge’ from where you are just now to your destination – doing what you want to do comfortably. Hypnosis will assist you to find out what you want t do next after a job loss or retrenchment or what career to choose which matches your passion.